Donna is Amazing

Last weekend our good friend Donna came over and took maternity shots. I wanted maternity shots because, well, I hopefully will never be pregnant again. (I know that sounds horrible, BUT, I am writing this in between very strong Braxton-Hicks contractions... so... bite me. On top of that, I have horrible insomnia, my hips are physically breaking into two, I am walking like I am riding a horse, I want to throw-up, I'm 0% effaced, I am 0 cm dilated, and I have another 4 weeks of this. So if never wanting to be pregnant again makes me a horrible person... well then, hello, I am a horrible person.)

Anywho... onto the beauty of pregnancy. Since I wanted to remember my last pregnancy as a "beautiful thing," I asked Donna if we could take some pictures to remember the "joys" of pregnancy.


Okay, so I begin with a non-maternity shot. Even still, I carried her full-term, so it is somewhat related. Here is the beautiful (soon-to-be) big sister playing in her tube.



Big foot, little foot, what begins with foot? Football, Footloose, and foot fungus. (Crickets.) I take it that no one here has ever read Dr. Seuss' ABC book? *Sigh* Work with me people!



What you don't see is the 3 pillows we needed to prop me into this position.



Yes, I am wearing nothing more than a sheet. Problems with that? Well then, aren't you glad that I did not post the pictures where I was completely nude! (Sticking out my tounge.)



(See last comment above.)



See that smile? It is called ACTING! When we were doing these shots, Donna said, "Make love to the camera." To which I raised both eyebrows and gave a doe-eyed look (well, it was more like deer in headlights doe-eyed look). Of course that shot did not come out so great and is not included here. Although, I think the look made Donna laugh so hard that she nearly peed her pants.



Must... hold... baby... in.



Isn't that the most precious look you have ever seen? Laine really hammed it up for the camera!



Hide-and-go-seek is not a game I am good at right now.



See, I told you I would get a shot of Laine putting her finger in my belly button! Ta-da!



Did you know if you take the weight I have gained in this pregnancy and add Laine's current weight, it is equivalent to 50% of my pre-pregnancy body weight? Therefore, this is a picture of me working out!



See, still not even breaking a sweat. (Alright, I admit that holding Laine is extremely difficult on my body at this point.)



The ever so classic heart on tummy shot. I used a black-and-white version of this shot on my Thank You cards for my Baby Shower at work that was held on Friday. (More about that later.)



This was a last minute one. The damn' Rose of Sharon bush in our backyard would not give up these flowers. I practically mangled the branch to get them.



This is a Mommy-eye view of pregnancy. Where's my lap? (Shrug.) I haven't seen it in months.



This one is just brilliant. 100% Donna's idea.


And there you have it, evidence that I am fat. Yes, the "joys" of pregnancy masked by the physical beauty it actually contains.